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Integrating Sex Toys in Partnered Sex: A Therapist's Guide

While double-ended dildos are typically U- or I-shaped, strapless strap-ons are L-shaped. Usually 12 to 24 inches long, some look like two dildos fused together (like the Lovehoney Ice Gem) and others are U-shaped (like the Ruse double dildo). There’s also a variety of textured details you might experiment with once you’ve confirmed that you enjoy dildo play or penetration. She adds that a standard dildo can be used by hand or worn in a harness to stimulate these spots. Crops tend to deliver a more piercing/stinging sensation, whereas paddles are often referred to as "thuddy." Floggers can be either, depending on the shape and brand.

So we decided to create something we could be passionate about - Custom sex toys, made for you. The Evolved Tongue Tied is our favorite of the "tongue" vibrators we’ve tested. While they’re not as pinpointed as those from the Lelo Dot, we did find that this vibrator’s flickering tongue (measuring about 1 inch long and 0.25 inches wide at the tip) offers powerful, focused sensations. There can be a bit of a learning curve in terms of optimal positioning when using this toy, as applying too much pressure may cause the tongue’s motion to stall. We loved the strong vibrations and easy-to-hold loop handle on the brand’s White Temptation but found the loaf-like shape to be awkward to use, preferring the tapered silhouette of the Purple Pleasure.

Suction toys concentrate vibrations and pulses of air that feel similar to oral sex in a small round cup that fits around the clitoris. There are now a huge number of suction toys on the market, but Womanizer did it first, and it is still considered by many to be the best of the bunch. The Womanizer Premium has 12 intensity levels that you can manually toggle between, as well as an autopilot mode that cycles through the various levels if you’d rather just turn it on and go. You can barely hear it once it’s under the covers, and it only starts working when it touches skin, which is a nice detail. Plus, it’s completely waterproof, making it easy to clean, not to mention great for those who like to take their toys into the tub.

If you’re planning on using the dildo during solo sex, Finn recommends a dildo with a suction cup base, like the Avant P1 Pride Freedom dildo. Also known as single-ended dildos, standard dildos most resemble biological penises in shape and function. Anything related to sexual play — not just the usual top-drawer suspects — need to be properly cleaned and stored. Toys should always be cleaned before and after each use to prevent bacteria from building up. "You can't really go wrong with soap and warm water," says Engle.

Gone are the days of sex toys that feel like knockoff action figures and clunky, pink, plastic rabbit vibrators—although rabbit vibes are still all the rage for some people. Today's toys are designed by sex educators, medical professionals, and the world’s greatest sexperts. Unlike in the old days, people with vulvas are very often the ones creating sex toys for vulvas. They're often made of high-quality medical-grade silicone and feature robust Bluetooth connectivity, programmable vibration patterns, and multiple motors designed to help you have a good time. Browse adult toys to discover pleasure-enhancing intimacy aids for sexual wellness.

We’ve already touched on vibrating prostate massagers, but — spoiler alert — not all prostate massagers vibrate. Some are basically just butt plugs with a special shape (aka increased curve) to support prostate stimulation. Below they explain what these sex toys do and how to know if one deserves a place in your drawer.